But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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