Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
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