My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
