Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
my shit smells like andre
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
