So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
