her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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