Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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