$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
