Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
