I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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