His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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