this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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