Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
