so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
