go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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