Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
