ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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