I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
