i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
