Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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