the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
