We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
