were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
