and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
