Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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