i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
