Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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