these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
