i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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