do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize