Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
May the power of my ass compel you!!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
