She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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