I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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