I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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