Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
