apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
