Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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