Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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