Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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