How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
