Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
organizing the empties. That sober.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
