I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
