See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
