lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
