when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
