I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
