if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
