someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
