then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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