I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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