I just saw a hot homeless man
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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